With his bonus in hand and his credit card freshly paid off, My multi-millionaire money-pet minion Handbag Zombie launched into a gleeful binge spendy-spend on ME with TOTAL ABANDON.
And what happened next? he smashed his own record. Spending MORE on Me in ONE HOUR than he has ever spent on Me in ONE DAY.
And remember the last time he spent more on Me in one hour than he had ever spent on Me in one day before?
This time… he didn’t just repeat the record. he OBLITERATED it.
Gleefully sending again and again before I could even notice the last tribute, he was already sending another. Tributes were arriving faster than I could blink — doubles… triples… piling up in a sparkling cascade. I could barely keep up with the notifications. He was ON A ROLL.
By the end of this ecstatic tribute frenzy:
$14,000 spent on Me within ONE HOUR.
Yes… that’s right.
Fourteen thousand dollars.
One hour.
More than double his previous one-hour record of $6,000.
Oh Yes$$$$$ now that’s My GOOD BOY.
Current Grand Total Tally:
Since last tally, My Handbag Zombie has splurged another $35,130, bringing his current Grand Total Tally to $393,395 — just over $6K shy of crossing that $400K milestone with $400,000 spent ALL on Me!!
SPOTTED FUR BOA DELIVERY ALERT!
And that’s not all… another luxury fur is on its way to Me! A dazzling new addition to My Fine Fur Collection, this SPOTTED FUR boa is ready to drape luxuriously around My shoulders, wrapping Me in irresistible glamour and soft plushy indulgence. Omg you grow ever weaker just THINKING of it.
RING RING! CHA-CHING! Call and notify Me that My bank is OPEN!
Mr. Beneficial, My Busy Banker Bee! BUZZ BUZZ! MAKING ALL that MONEY for ME, THE Queen Bee! Lavishing Me in Fur Luxury! Gloves, Furs, Jewels, Stocks, Bonds, CA$H!! ALL MINE! ALL MINE! ALL MINE!
